Shame: LeBron James Refused To Dunk A Make-A-Wish Kid Into The Fucking Ground

For young NBA fan Dewayne Solomon, age 11 and recently diagnosed with a life-threatening illness, there was only one thing on his Make-A-Wish list. “I want LeBron James, the GOAT, to dunk me into the fucking ground,” Dewayne wrote in his letter to the organization, “just have him fucking yam it on me as he drives down the lane with all the force of a runaway freight train. That is all I want on this sweet Earth.”

Unfortunately, despite the child’s plea, LeBron has as-yet refused to indulge the request, citing concerns such as ‘safety’ and ‘not wanting to injure a frail child.’ James’ agent, Rich Paul, further elaborated, stating that, “while it is very clear that LeBron could absolutely fucking wreck this pre-teen if he wanted to, driving him into the hardwood with a sick windmill dunk, it really would not be a good look for his brand.”

Many media outlets have criticized James’ decision, calling it an abdication of his responsibilities as a Make-A-Wish ambassador. ESPN’s Pablo Torre led off Saturday’s edition of High Noon by noting, “Who among us has not dreamed of getting absolutely baptized by LeBron, seeing his majestic figure fly in from above us as we cower? If that’s what Dewayne asked for, he deserves to see his dreams realized.”

Despite the criticism, James remains firm in his denial, insisting that the enterprise would be ‘dangerous’ and ‘could easily break Dewayne’s bones.’ Luckily for Dewayne, however, Make-A-Wish has agreed to accomplish his second request: seeing Matthew Dellavedova execute a perfect bounce pass.